Just read this expression on another blog I am following, 'I have been writing in my mind for a long time'.But I never got the gut to come to my blog and write them down. Writing make me feel better about the things which I can't make sense of.
I have been thinking about dreams. People always dream don't they. Some dreams are flying so up above that they always remain a dream. They never can be perceived as reality. But some times there is only a very thin line between reality and dream; the bubble of dream comes down and you can touch it and you are allowed to travel in and out of it. Sometimes they take you in and go up high again far from the reality. The danger being, the dream is still a soap bubble and you believe them to be reality. And the bubble breaks and you loose yourself. I need to make sure I don't go into the bubbles again. The more heart you put into something, the more you may end up being inside the bubble. When you share the bubble with some one else reality it becomes even more prone to break, but you just go on and on wandering around in the dream bubble.
I am going home this weekend plus two days, my mom has been recuperating from an operation, she would need 3 months rest. Last time I met her she was in the hospital and was struggling to get up. This time I also need to recuperate and slowly I will dive back into reality. :) mom has been staying with my aunt after operation, I need to go bring her home tomorrow after doing some tidying up at home myself. My mom deserved a daughter more than me I guess, though she doesn't agree with me and keep saying it was me who always wanted a sister.I could have really used a sister now for both for myself and for my mom. Plans for getting a daughter for her myself is still in the dream space and is now flying much above reality. I don't want to get on to that bubble.
When you are out of a bubble you suddenly feel so close to God, probably because 'When he closes a door on me, he makes sure my fingers are in it'. However to me God is much real these days.
Check out Swallowed In The Sea- Cold play.
"Oh what good is it to live
With nothing left to give
Forget but not forgive
Not loving all you see
You belong with me
Not swallowed in the sea
Yeah, you belong with me
Not swallowed in the sea"