Wednesday, July 22, 2009

First Bike going to come ...


Finally I have paid for my first bike. Actually the first vehicle to be registered in my name in India. I am pretty excited about this same time little worried about the horrible traffic in Chennai. Until the Yamaha FZ16 came in front of my eyes I was not at all fancying about a bike. I used to hate pulsar, probably because it came from Bajaj who is basically an "auto" maker in my mind. The FZ16 is manly, powerful and has unique design. Though its going to cost me on the upper side at the end of the day I will have the bike which I felt I should have.

I am planning to go on long rides with my camera - I have already identified some places. Also for lot of late night movies at satyam :) these two things excites me, though the back seat of the bike may not accommodate a gal friend which I currently don't have. :P. Mr.Deepu is again on his wheels alone which turned out to be a good time in the states. I have lately found being alone with myself is better than having the company of people with different taste.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

A man is what he thinks when he is alone...

A man is what he thinks when he is alone... Its not something i found out but i read it some where and i think its true. All the good and the bad is evolved from the heart of a man (I'm using 'man' for both genders). I have seen people asking me what i do when i am free or on weekends. I have never seen some one asking any one what do you "think" when you are free/alone. :) All of you must have heard the saying "An Idle mind is devils workshop"; I don't think that's entirely correct. It could be a God's workshop also. If you see around all the inventions of man would have born inside the mind when he was alone and while he was thinking.

I am not sure about what every one thinks when they are alone, but i have seen similar people like me who thinks about everything happening around and questions it inside the mind. I have found (as of now) similar thought process in some of the single children like me. Probably because they had lot of time free at the time of formation of thought process. I have taken some sample people to study, some of them (i would say most of them) just limit the thinking to about themselves and their beloved ones. Its perfectly normal scenario and is very human to do that. People should come out from that and should be sympathetic to each and everyone. Being sympathetic is a personal virtue. I value it as one of the building block of a good person, so i take a sympathetic person for granted. They can easily be empathetic and compassionate and be like God who loves unconditionally and voluntarily.

Love theories developed by John Lee are ...

Eros – a passionate physical and emotional love based on aesthetic enjoyment; stereotype of romantic love
Ludus – a love that is played as a game or sport; conquest
Storge – an affectionate love that slowly develops from friendship, based on similarity
Pragma – love that is driven by the head, not the heart; undemonstrative
Mania – highly volatile love; obsession; fueled by low self-esteem
Agape – selfless altruistic love; spiritual; motherly love

Agape is used to describe God's love. Its the Agape we are in short of.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Weird...

I was thinking about what happened to my enthusiasm about photography. This place is making me lazy, and filling me with some weird feelings and emotions which are not productive. I don't know how to get out of this messy thoughts and get back to my old path. I tried to seek help from God, probably help is on the way and I need a change. I need a change of environment. Last weekend I was down with viral fever; it was really scary to be in the mess I live with a fever and shivers. There are hell lot of fevers now that swine flue too. Anyway I had spent a sum to confirm that I do not have Clinical Malaria.

The funny part was my friend was talking about fever the week before. She was telling about a comment her mother told her. Her mother told her that it would be nice to have fever in the summer as you would feel cold :) Even it sounded interesting to me and I thought it would be nice. But I think God wanted to prove that my conclusion was wrong. It was not at all nice, though I had to cover my self up for 2 days to sleep and never felt hot.

Monday, May 18, 2009

No tear for Prabhakaran...

I just wanted to remind all the people who is hailing Prabhakaran as a hero, that he is a terrorist declared by 32 countries including India. He died in a battle with the army of a country which has a democratic ruler. Its arguably not wise to fight against a country by the minority people who has migrated there only in last century. It should be a political decision to accept the minority, probably the only way. To those who argue about redrawing the border should agree with the same thing in our country too. Its almost the same thing happening in Kashmir right, will those who support LTTE would support the militants in Kashmir?? I think its the same goal they both have. Kashmiries want freedom from both the nations don't they?.


To those who see only the act of violence done by the military should not close their eye to the LTTE cruelties, their suicide bombers have killed thousands or women children and innocent people over the last 26 years. Its so evident that collateral damage in a military action can be avoided. Why the eyes are open only to the causalities in a military operation. Why not to the causalities CREATED by keeping the fellow civilians as shield. Indian Peace Keeping Force's commando es who brought rations to tamilians were killed by strapping burning tires on their neck. To me it sound funny when some one says the person who ordered this (personally) is a hero. This war between the Govt and LTTE has killed 70,000 people. Do you think the existence of an outfit which created this (whatever their goal may be) is still justified. Do you think the situation was that crucial before birth of LTTE to outweigh the lives of those 70,000 people.


There have been other organizations who also wanted to have a say over tamilians. What happened to them? "He decimated rival groups TELO and EPRLF and hunted down their founders, like TELO's Sri Sabaratnam. His gunmen assassinated TULF leader A Amirthalingam in Colombo in 1989. PLOTE leader Uma Maheswaran was shot dead by an LTTE hit squad. Another squad killed EPRLF leader K Padmanabha and 13 others in a Chennai apartment complex in 1990." - Times Of India.


Not all people who has an aim or a motto - like any mujaheddin outfits - should be respected. You respect some one when you find some quality in those people which you wish you had - this may be a very different way of seeing what respect is, but if you think more you would find this is true. People should be respected for their principles. The incorrect way a man take to achieve a good goal is not justified. The way he choose defines himself. There should be some principles he should follow to achieve it. Isn't it selfish to kill the people who had the same goal but different ways. Netaji never did that, Bhagat Singh never did that. We can not compare him with the extremist heroes of our country like Bhagat Singh. There is not even a single incident when some innocent civilians were killed by them, they never forced children and women to join the force. They never sent suicide bombers and they never created any collateral damage. They never hid themselves when their fellow followers or others lives were at stake, they were not cowards. They never used civilians to hide themselves and cover them so that they can enjoy safety.


If Prabhakaran turned himself down when the people he stood for are dying - I would have at least thought about him as a hero. That could be heroism (if I could forget that he killed one president and injured another president; killed a former Indian prime minister and another thousand innocents). He standing next to the suicide bombers photo is available over net. Is that heroism. I wish at least now people of Sri Lanka will have a peaceful life ahead. I hope President will respect tamil feelings and re inhabit them soon. If war crimes happened it should be brought to light.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Twisted minds and Twisted ideas...

There isn't lot of people who minds their own business. I wish every one stopped peeking into what every one else is doing. I recently read some where "great people talk about ideas. average people talk about things. small people talk about other people." How true it is. Atleast I am happy that I dont belongs to the category of small people. I am really struggling to impress people here. Mind you its not going to help whether or not they are impressed. It took some time for me to understand that. It was a waste activity to impress people. I am learning that having an ATTITUDE is helpful some times. You just need to ignore many things and people also. People make opinions without understanding the real content of others. What are we going to loose; nothing nothing at all. You loose the individuality trying to adjust the perception of yourself in other eyes. I love genuineness, even a snake is genuine. It expresses and reflects what it is. If a person is genuinely BAD, I just wish many people were, I could have been careful. Friends are your reflection. I am happy that my friends are great; we talk about ideas !! :)

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Friday introspection....

One of my friend some time ago told me that I am the most cynical person in the gang. He asked me not to become like that. I didn't know the meaning of the word that time correctly; even I was not sure he meant this. Cynic - A person who believes that all people are motivated by selfishness. always looking at a glass of water or life as half empty instead of half full. Always looking at the negative instead of looking at the positive. I think its some way correct. The first part is not correct for me, but in a way the second definition holds good for me. I have a weird theory in life, I do expect the worst from life or from anything. I believe it prepares me for the worst, rather than just hope for the best and believe in the good side of everything. Every one seems to have heard about the glass which is half full. Other than the normal two category of people who sees the half water and half empty space; I belong to those category who ask themselves why the glass is half empty. One of my weird (another) hobby is to justify each persons (?) actions. I do it only in my mind. I will think about why or what has made him/her do that. I think what motivates him to act selfish, or why cant he be different. This helps me to understand and accept that person as they are. This also reminds me that how blessed I am. I have so much free time in my life. I try to understand people.

Today also I don't have any work. I am not liking it. May be its because its been 3 days in a row since I had any work. Its not doing any good to me, the more I get free time, the more I tend to be lazy. I like to have continuous work. Only then I can enjoy the weekend to the full extend, the deserved break you know. I want to do something useful in the free time. Other than reading news and some wikying, I don't think I am doing anything useful. I have tried to make some new friendships in the office too. But looks like they are not as open to it as I am. I stop bugging others when I understands that they feel I don't worth it. So that's also going to be a closed chapter soon.
In news - Steaming hot tea (above 70 degrees) is linked to cancer (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7965380.stm)

Monday, March 23, 2009

'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says

This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.


The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?
It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.
And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.


My second story is about love and loss.
I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.
I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.
During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.
I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.


My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.
I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.
This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.
Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.


Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
Thank you all very much.