He was Simple... He was Adorable ... I Loved him

My little hamy passed away this evening... I think he suffered so much in the past 3 days. Today he was suffering so much and I wanted him to die sooner some how. I some how managed him a better death ... And I weeped like a child... I loved him so much. He deserved atleast some rolls of my tears.. I knew him better than how much I know about many people here. He never gave me pain other than for once when he bit me - long back on the very next day I bought him. If animals can be in heaven I wish my hamy in heaven. Making every one smile and adore him there also. May he rest in peace forever. Even when he died he was cute and soft like a fur ball which made me weep more!  

Please refer to my post on Jan 2008 for those who don't know who is Hamy! 

Light and Exposure ...

Ayeeee .... here it comes... at the speed of 3lac km/second - yes ideally in the vaccum ofcourse - LIGHT... what a wonderful thing to have; have you ever imagined a world without ligt, something like living in Mariana Trunch or something. ho i can imagine. So here i am writing about light and the wonderful moments it illuminates. And also the moments which are captured for later time; ofcourse thats what we are talking about Cameras. A moment is captured in a film or a sensor through a process called exposure. An exposure is nothing but the process of exposing the chemicals on a film inside a film camera or the light sensors on a sensor in a digital camera to the light. This light excites the molecules and is stored for ever on the film or stored temoparaly on a buffer in digital camera.

Exposure is measured in lux seconds and it is the amount of light allowed expose the film. Its also mearured in Electron Volts (EV) which is the normal photographer term for telling it. In advanced digital cameras we have option to see the image histogram which shows the tonal distribution of light across the frame. From which a person can understand how good the exposure was. If the histogram is distributed across like a bell shape and is concentrated in the middle that indicates a good expoure.

Under Exposure: As you know if you expose a film for less time than the ideal time requred to record the details of the scene we call it as Under Exposure. In an under exposed photo all the details or most of the details would be dark and not properly illuminated. The histogram of an under exposed image will be drifted towards the left of the graph. Normally a photographer does is when there is so much light in the scene, like when you are shooting in the midday or shooting the sun or sky, or greeneries (this is a particular case i will tell you later)

Over Exposure: This is the term used when we have / or camera in AUTO mode has allowed more light than necessary to the film or the sensor. This is some thing which normal photographer would never like to happen as all the detail would have blown out; the term blown out is used since the pixels would have stored the maximum electron volt it could store. So pixels of the picture would be completely white in color, in a blown out picture most of the picture pixel would have store no color or details. An occasion when a photographer does is when the light is not evenly distributed over the scene and some of the subject is under darkness, if the priority of the subject in dark is more important he would prefer to get the correct exposure on that subject ignoring the over exposure of the other subjects. Same situation applies to Under Exposure also.

In a camera there is a Light Meter which measures the light from a scene where we are pointing the camera. The metering circuit of a camera is one of the most important part of the camera. The camera in auto mode measures the light and calculates how much time the film or the sensor should be exposed to get a perfect exposure. For this what the light meter does is it theoretically dilutes all the light from the scene and you know when you mix all the colors you would get one color. This color is then coverted to greyscale by the metering system and compared with the stored value. This stored value is equivalent to 18% grey card. So what the metering system will do is it will quickly changes the shutter speed and aperture (which i will talk later about) to control the light coming in to get the 18% grey value from the scene. People use a card which is equivalent to 18% grey to get consistant results, they will read the light from the grey card at the scene and this will give the camera and oppurtunity to ignor e the influence of colors in the calculation of exposure.

Check this picture, the bracket shows where the light is read from to get the exposure given; when the light is read from the sun the picture is under exposed since there is so much light coming in. When it is read from the absolut dark areas the picture has been over exposed. And the idea exposure is got from the areas where it is correctly lighted or half of the bracket is dark and half is bright. http://www.easyphotography.info/page3images/histogram.jpg

This is how an automatic metering system find the perfect exposure. The better the calculation and measurement is done by the metering system the better the image would be. In DSLRs we have option to alter the perfect exposure found by the camera using Exposure Compensation. There would be a button which would let you choose an exposure value which is in the range -3 to +3 (varies camera to camera) in steps of 1/2 or 1/3; if we take a negative value the image will be under exposed and if positive it will be over exposed.

So thats all for today, so i think now you wouldnt blink when some one talks about exposures, under exposure, over exposure, image histogram, metering, grey card, exposure compensation etc. You have learned how to read exposure from histogram and even how camera calculates the exposure.

Changing Lives ...

I don't know how to start, but I want to write this blog about this subject "Are we loosing our compassion?"

Today as being a sunday I had gone to the church for mass, going for mass has started being more of a need than a compulsion to me. I am happy for that. There we had a visiting priest from Cincinnatti who came representing an organisation called Food for the Poor. He is 83 years old and very energetic and he has been asking money for food and shelter for thousands in the Caribians and Latin America. He didn't try to question or tried to make a guilty feeling in us, he just said the numbers and needs of those people there. He was proud when he said they could change the lives of the people there. That made me think about the compassion of every human being of this generation - may be in situations where we need it we are showing it but the need for compassion and love is far more.

I have been reading a book of John Grisham - Street Lawyer - its about a lawyer who would have made millions by being in the firm he was working, but an accident in his life made him compassionate about the poor homeless people and he decided to throw the job and his dreams to work for them for their rights and welfare. Hope you have heard of Oskar Schindler who saved hundreds of Jews during the holocaust. He was an industialist and he could have made so much money ignoring those whom he could have saved but he found the lives of people are more valuable than the money. Climax scene of the movie Schindler's list is one of the most touching moments I have seen. In the middle of the people whom he has saved he sobs, thinking he could have saved even more people. That is the compassion he had, may be we dont have any holocaust to deal with to show the compassion. But there are millions of children whose parents can not afford to give them food. And a mere 24$ can give 420 children a meal, yes Four Hundred and Twenty children.

When we strive to achieve our dreams for personal gain; I dont know how much we should be thankful to the god for letting us born on the other side of the world where there is no poverty and lack of food or clothes. I believe its our responsibility to help those who can not pay you back. God once said, help those who can not pay you back, by which you create wealth in the heaven. To tell you the truth after the mass I didnt feel the taste of the food I was eating.

How much ever you earn or how much ever you become successful in life, you can never get the same satisfaction you get by feeding a hungry child. We can never take the money we make in this life but we can take those smiles to heaven. Find a reason for our lives, there are people around us who needs compassion and love. I know we ignore and think we can not make a change in the lives but we can, think about it. May we grow to understand how fortunate we are.

Spread the love around.... bring smile to atleast one person a day!

Please visit the site http://www.foodforthepoor.org and do something... :) Love you!!

Blame it on the Moon....

Yes; I think it has been long since I wrote a blog.
I have had this thought some time back also but I couldn't help as I was really out of mood to write something here. I have been feeling so pissed off with the life; these are the times I am struggling to come out of the pessimistic character of a capriconian. Finally I survived this time too; I think a gal called Katie Melua and some other nice singers helped me to change my thoughts.

I have been trying to make every one listen to Katie but I dont think any one did try; ya only a capriconian can listen to her. She is also a Virgo like the once I loved in the past. You can find pain of lost love in her all songs and she has perfectly narrated it in her vocals. May be thats why I liked her songs

Back to sun signs. I have always liked virgos; they understands me very well. I have been closely trying to do a character study with the help of the sun sign characters. What I have observed is as far as I know most of the Capriconians,Aries, Virgos, Pisces, Cancer have unique characters. I dont know how it happened. I always wanted to believe that each person is unique, but I have to believe sun sugns too now. I dont want to believe that it has to do something with the astrology, may be they have tried to do a character study as I did and defined the nature for those people.


Just see the below study and see whether you agree to any of these.

* Aries (March 21 - April 19): Assertive, impulsive, sometimes selfish.
* Taurus (April 20 - May 20): Resourceful thorough, sometimes indulgent.
* GeminI (May 21 - June 20): Logical, inquisitive, sometimes superficial.
* Cancer (June 21 - July 22): Tenacious, sensitive, sometimes clinging.
* Leo (July 23 - August 22): Generous, proud, sometimes arrogant.
* Virgo (August 23 - September 22): Practical, efficient, sometimes over-critical.
* Libra (September 23 - October 22): Co-operative, fair, sometimes lazy.
* Scorpio (October 23 - November 21): Passionate, sensitive, sometimes obsessive.
* Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21): intelligent, straightforward, sometimes careless.
* Capricorn (December 22 - January 19): Prudent, ambitious, sometimes suspicious.
* Aquarius (January 20 - February 18): Humanitarian, unconventional, sometimes detached.
* Pisces (February 19 - March 20): Imaginative, sensitive, sometimes impractical.

Courtesy: http://en.wikipedia.org

Check this out if you have time : Zodiacs

Some things about be from the above link which you might want to know about me

"With an eye for pedigree and perfection, they'll look around pretty carefully. The goat will pick a girl who will be a good mother. Then she'll have to be a good cook and a house keeper. After that, she'll have to dress well to impress his business associates and friends, and preferably be a cut I above them in background, manners, breeding and intelligence. Last of all, he'll make a quick check to see if she's I beautiful or if she appeals to his physical senses. You can see right away it's no big deal if your hair is droopy, your l perfume bottle is empty or your legs aren't the kind to; make the current Miss Universe hate you. Just dig into the trunk for those D.A.R. papers and show him the family"

I guess Katie Melua is right for me :)

Sweet Gals....

Today my colleague has brought her small gal to office as her day care was not available. She has not started going to school but I found her very smart and naughty. With all the spark which I talked about in the last blog. I tried to be close with her, as I was getting bored with out any work. I am waiting for a fix to come so that I can resume my work. So I started off with my small tricks, winking, staring, commenting. :) Finally she reciprocated; she smiled at me. I have moved to the next step.

I offered her one of the toys I have at my desk. She refused it and said "I want to scare you". Oh god, what did I do? I am just wondering about my future, if this small gal wants to scare me, will I ever get to find a gal who can make me happy all my life :| I am speechless. I went to her place to see what she is doing after some time. Do you know what she did? she took my hand and pulled me to my place and made me sit at my desk. Isnt she smart? I have to to find better ways to flirt with 'small gals' :)

But I liked this small gal. I always liked to have a small sister, I kept on waiting till I was in +2 I think. But I came out of my mom making her not able to have more kids :| what to do I have born complicated to be complicated. But I have always liked small kids. And kids likes me also - I guess - I am not very sure whom they like and whom they don't. As this gal told her mother that I am trying to be funny :( but she is not liking me. Some times I melt like cheese seeing some kids. It was tough to grow up alone. Teenage is the time you will start missing a sibling. I have seen many good brother and sister relationships. I also have been brother to my cousines, and I am very close to some of them. But even then at the end of the day I am just a cousin. I can not be a brother to any one.

I hate to call a good friendship as brotherly relation that's crap. I like to call a good friendship, good friendship. I have tried to maintain all the very good friends of mine close to me. I like to update them whats happening with me all the time. Brother Sister relation can be a good friend ship but not vice versa, even if you don't like your siblings character you gotta love him/her isn't it. Friendship is also an acceptance but if you try to put the intimacy a brother and sister has; then you might fall into each other.

I have fallen many times, not many as in "many" but it has happened. Its very normal feeling which people who are lovable get to have. I am proud of those relations as it taught me many things in life. I learned many things about myself, and I have learned many things you can not have in life. They made me more mature and stable. Believe me I have some friends who can not think about making a gal, 'a friend'. They sees gals as 'Gals'. I pity for them. I have learned to differentiate the difference properly and correctly.

I have found women as very complicated but delicate human being. I wish I could spend my life with a delicate woman who can understand the complicacy of my self and empathise me with the innocense of the small gal. I am sounding crazy?? I am serious!! If you ask yourself you would find the same answer. If she is beautiful/ugly enough to match with me, I would be happier :)

Sparks of Life ...

I have read a speech of Chetan Bhagat which I got as a forward. If you don't know Chetan Bhagat; he is an ex IITian and a writer. I have read two books of him 'Five point Some one' and 'One night at Call Center'. First one was an incredible book about 3 IITians and their way of life.

Coming back to his speech, this speech he is talking about sparks of life. He meant by spark is the enthusiasm, happiness, carisma, security etc which you can find on a baby. He is just trying to find how that happiness and enthusiasm is lost on the way of life. Each child may be upto certain age are grown without knowing the sorrows, aspirations of his parents, troubles waiting for him when he grows up. During that period they are not scared by anything, they start doing things their own and they involve themselves in each and every mischievious act they find happiness in. You can see the spark which Chetan is talking about in their eyes that time. If you closely watch a kid - I know there are exceptions - but you can feel the joy in his eye for just being himself.

Chetan is telling where and how its is lost during the journey for success in life. As he says even I feel there is a moment in life where you should stop looking for better places and more money. The spark is lost when you make your life imbalanced for success in life. You should be striving for a balanced successfull life, and he stresses on 'balanced' more than success. Your striving is worth only if there is harmony in life. I have seen many families where they are making money, making money all though the life without preparing to take rest to enjoy the money or find happiness inside the family. Chetan finds disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose are the main reasons for loosing the spark in life. I have understood what he is peaking and has written about that in my previous blogs. Seek enjoyment in the process rather than the end result. You can see it as seeking enjoyment by working rather than the salary. Or seeking enjoyment in going to school everyday rather than the poor scores you may get, which will make you disappointed. May be these were the things which my friends who used to fail in subjects but enjoyed college life have understood long back.

Its nice to find that there are some person in this world who almost think like me, I always try to be grateful for what I have and gain strength to accept what I dont have. If you keep on worrying and strive to achive what you dont have and loose the spark and harmony of life - which is the balance of health, relationships, mental peace everything in good order. What I am saying is not to be lazy and be happy with what you have, you should find a balance where you can stay happy at the same time more towards to your goal in the life. The goal of life should involve somthing more than having a better job, better degree or better financial stability. It should eventually bring smile on many faces and make you feel that you have lived a good persons life with lot of experiences. "Don't be serious; be sincere" as Chetan says.

The above photo is taken near my apartment on a day, when I had the mood to come back to check the flower after coming back from office. The crop is not exactly what I wanted it to be. But I liked the photo for the depth and contrast.

Price of Negligence .....

"Its high time to find out the details about the motor vehicle law atleast after one and a half years in US isnt it". Thats was the answer my conscience had, for my question "Why Why Why!!!". More details to follow. As you know (if you had read my previous blogs) me and my friend together bought the car. We decided to register the car in both our name, which was the reason for all these. She has gone back in June; so instead of transfering the owership completely to myself I have continued to have the co ownership and cancelled her insurence. I had never imagined the Motor Vehicle Administration to send me a mail yesterday asking for the proof for insurence on the vehicle by owners. They even mentioned the gravity of the situation; which was 150$ for the first 30days, then 7$ per day till I surrender the plates. Holy Cow!!! Life is fucked by MVA tooo now. So tomo I will end up registering the car in my name paying the 200$ tax and 128$ for new registration and the fine (which I have not yet calculated as 7$ thingI is variable till I return the plates or add my returned friend in the insurance). But in my Orkut today's fortune was so motivating; it said "Serious trouble will bypass you!" But as of now the trouble landed right on my head. I am brainstorming all the ideas, permutations calculations and escape routes.... to find the least expensive and permanant solution to this. While I am typing this one small hope has struck on me which is - if I am surrendering the plates and returning the registration, may be I can ask them to weive off the penalty. But this also sound good only to me, rest all depends on the Orkut bhagvan who said it will by pass me.
There was another trouble bypassed me some time back; which was the emission test - again the MVA; for which I have never received the letter asking me to go for it. But there I have acted proactively to go and enquire. At first they said my car was never tested for emission and including the cumilative fines it is 350$. I was shocked as if I was put in the mens dressing room in miamI beach. But later I spoke to the manager and he found out that I dont awe all that money, he asked me to come only in december. So if Orkut bhagvan is talking about that trouble, it has already bypassed.
I have never thought there is a catch like this from DMV. I am publishing this in my blog so that at least some one reading this will be pro active.
Recent update from http://www.carinsurance.com/kb/content31331.aspx says that it might not affect me. I can still drive the car with out paying the fine as the lapse of insurance is only for my friend. She can not register a car in her name in US if I am not paying this fine now. So I will ask her whether I need to do that. Oh god this is the last chance; will the trouble bypass me ???
Let me see ...

The picture is of the Virginia Beach Fishing Pier in the evening of July 5th. When VA beach was honored by three Rajagirian's visit. I have done little editing to increase shadows in Picasa.

07/16 Latest update: I have registered the car in my name; spoke to the person at DMV he said there might not be any problem for me as there was at least one insurance that point of time on the car. So I am happy at the end as of now.